April 2012
5 tags
March 2012
3 tags
4 tags
“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to...”
– Khalil Gibran (via flesh-of-burning-love)
5 tags
Beat Writer
Kid: Yo, think about it, Chris Brown beat his girl and he's going stronger than ever.
Kid: Gucci punched a bitch in the face and he's actually MORE popular?
me: Are you trying to tell me that you're gonna hit a chick so your career takes off?
me: Because I feel like that's what you're getting at.
Kid: Let's just see how my graduate program goes, first...
4 tags
Blind Leading The Blind
Kid: I just cut a blind man and his 10 year-old daughter for a seat on the bus. Does that officially sign my ticket to hell or...?
Kid: When the bus came he said to his daughter "What bus is that?" and I chuckled.
Kid: It was funny cause the pops didn't see me but the girl did and she just stood there stunned.
Kid: You have no idea how much restraint it took for me to keep from bursting out laughing.
Kid: Someone else was clearly gonna give him a seat regardless. I mean c'mon, he's BLIND!!!
me: I'm just waiting to see how long I can ignore you before you start to feel guilty.
Kid: Not long enough, haha.
4 tags
Social Network
Kid: Are you anticipating The Social Network?
me: No.
Kid: YOU'RE LYING!
me: There's not much I care less about than the story of facebook.
Kid: Fuck up, I wanna see that shit. “Your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars?”
me: I can’t wait to see Justin Timberlake and white boy #3 argue about copyright law.
Kid: hahhahasdqdfggnmfs
me: Throw in random sluts making breakfast in panties and a guy's shirt but it still looks like a visual borefest.
me: “OH WE WERE ROLLING IN ALL THIS BIG INTERNET MONEY, SLAMMIN' BROADS AND LOVIN' LIFE!”
me: It’s like Goodfellas with Ivy League nerds and I'm mostly curious if there’s a token nigga that gets shot in the back of the head while wearing superhero briefs.
Kid: !!!
Kid: Don’t forget about the Asian chick from those Disney shows. What's with these Disney chicks looking hot all of a sudden?
me: She's OK.
Kid: Speaking of which, would you rag Miley Cyrus?
me: I'd mostly want the chance to corrupt something so seemingly wholesome to people, so yes. I'm pretty sure she couldn't bring me home to meet the folks, you know?
Kid: THAT’S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY! Only I wanna take something millions of children adore and idolize…and ejaculate on it. (Possibly defacate on it too).
me: The real social network.
3 tags
Stuntin' Like His Daddy
Kid: Are you amped for xmas?
me: Nah, Christmas is for kids. Most holidays are geared towards women and children in general. For me they're just an excuse to get drunk with my grandparents.
Kid: Nigga fuck all that Grinch shit, I'm gettin' myself a Gucci belt.
5 tags
The Starving Artist Games
kid: The premise is still stupid. There's a worldwide food shortage and the government decides which district gets to eat by whoever wins this contest?
me: I WILL WIN US FOOD, BY SHOOTING OTHER CHILDREN WITH ARROWS FOR SPORT!
kid: How often would these contests take place?
me: Don't poke holes in it, nigga. Just enjoy kids gettin' murked in a PG-13 fashion.
kid: I gotta get published. If _____'s sister can publish a book about mermaids, I'm sure I can snag a book deal somewhere...
me: Don't get salty cause you didn't have the foresight to fill the void in 2012's mermaid literature market.
4 tags
When a hero dies, he leaves behind a legion of...
